Picnic
by NaijaChiqa
Summary: The gang go on a picnic. Naked!Ryan challenge. S,S,R,M.


"Eeeeeeeeew!"  
  
The loud scream awakens Ryan from his mid-afternoon siesta. The gang has decided to go on a picnic and instead of the usual beach thing, they drive up to the secluded lake Seth usually fishes at. The fact that he's never actually caught a fish made everyone suspicious of its actual existence but thirty minutes out of Newport, they'd arrived at this seemingly fertile ground covered by a variety of sturdy trees and shrubs with colors of red, brown and green.  
  
"What?" groans our hero. After a twenty minute hike to the actual lake, a lunch of tuna sandwiches and potato chips, and the incessant gabbing between Seth and Summer, he'd been quite ready for some shut-eye. He'd slept on his back with his well-built right arm covering his face. _She'd better not be screaming about a squirrel_, he says to himself.  
  
Just as he's about to move, he feels a weird sensation on his bulging bicep. Before he can even look to see its cause, he notices that same feeling it on his thigh, then his stomach. He's barely opened his eyes when Marissa screams, "Ants!"  
  
Yes, ants. Tons and tons of them. Could it be that they'd somehow picnicked on an ant colony? When they picked out the spot, they hadn't noticed any humps with holes in them like they showed on the Discovery Channel, but before Ryan has time to ponder this, the weird sensations begin to feel more like pinches. And bites. All over him. Poor boy! He looks down and sees big black soldier ants spread across him like little pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. The stupid insects are hiding those hard-worked pecs rippling beneath his smooth skin. And those arms, long and lean with muscles that seems to cry out every time he moves. And... well, you get the picture.  
  
He looks up at the rest of the gang and sees that they are all in the same predicament but unlike him, are all jumping up and down, trying to rid themselves of the invaders.  
  
"The, ouch, argh, water!" Marissa manages to scream.  
  
"What?" someone says. Which of them said it? Who cares? We just want to see Naked!Ryan.  
  
"Oh my God," Marissa shrieks, running her hands through her hair like someone intent on becoming bald. "The fucking water," she says, running in the direction of the lake. They all follow suit.  
  
"COLD!" Marissa and Seth utter through chattering teeth.  
  
Unperturbed by the temperature -because he's too sexy for that- Ryan completely immerses his body in the water and comes out soaking wet. We pause for a few seconds to just stare. Hello, look at him. His hair is plastered on his strong, angular face and his wife-beater is so wet it looks transparent. As if reading our minds, Ryan v...e...r...y slowly puts his hands at the bottom of his shirt and pulls it over his head. We said v...e...r...y slowly so we shall repeat: He pulls off the wet fabric and we watch as it slides, inch by inch, over the edges of his exquisite musculature. He looks down and notices that he only has a few ants left on him, so, he moves to another part of the lake and removes them one after the other. First he picks the one that's lying on his not too wide, but so well defined shoulder. We notice a scar that we imagine he'd obtained at a barroom brawl and an image of a jousting Ryan comes into mind. Yeah, Medieval!Ryan is hot. Then he pulls one off his nipple; hard as pebbles and flanked by one or two hairs. We... ah, forget it! Let's not go there. With his little finger, he flicks off the one that's attempting to hide in his belly button -a navel that's housed by that taut, flat abdomen that makes you want to run your finger down it to feel every hard contour of sinew. Then he puts his hand behind him and picks the last one off his back, a back that celebrates his strength and starts off broad then tapers to a narrow waist that lies above the gentle swell of his tight  
  
"How many ways can I say this sucks?" Seth whines. "I'm going back to the car!"  
  
"Me too," Marissa adds. Bye, we say. Seth's cute, but scrawny chests are not in. And as for Marissa... well, we are just not into _that_.  
  
Ryan must know that we are watching because he decides to turn his back to us and walk over to a shallower side of the lake and in doing so, slowly exposes the lower part of his body. Did we say something about a gentle swell? Yeah, his pants cling to tight buttocks and we don't even care that he has a wedgie because it means we can practically see the firm sleekness of him. As we try to come up with reasons for him to take those pesky pants off, he stops and stares. A little surprised because we are **The Powers That Be** and that wasn't in the script, we follow his gaze.  
  
Shit. Summer. We forgot all about her. Yeah, just what we need - an absolutely beautiful girl distracting our hero. Yes, she's wet and somehow the dirt on her face makes her look even more appealing, but we don't care. All we want is to get PartiallyClothed!Ryan back on track to becoming Naked!Ryan.  
  
Maybe a water snake can bite her and she dies, one of the dumbest members of our group suggests. A patient person reminds him that instead of a Naked!Ryan, we'll get a Mourning!Ryan. And even though Crying!Ryan, is oh, so sexy, Romeo and Juliet, this is not.  
  
How about we give Ryan food poisoning? "Shut up!" is the only response that moron gets. In what world is diarrhea cute? Then someone comes up with a plan.  
  
Ryan is still mesmerized, his mouth slightly agape because for some reason, maybe she'd forgotten to do her laundry or something, she's not wearing a bra. Hence, her entire upper body is drenched in lake water and since she's only seventeen and unfortunately, gravity is not yet at work  
  
A wave comes from nowhere and forces her, face first, into the lake. She's struggling, looking like a complete idiot, coughing up the vile water, throwing up, possibly farting, basically doing all the things we imagine our dear Ryan isn't attracted to, and we are pleased.  
  
He runs over to her and helps her up. We'd expected this, after all, he is our own little Caring!Ryan, but instead of leaving her after he's sure she's alright, he pulls her into him and holds her tight. What the hell? Someone is getting fired! With some undesirable expression plastered across that face we love staring at, he slowly runs his hand up and down her back. She's crying or something because it was a particularly huge wave and she thought she was going to die, but who cares? She's keeping us from our Naked!Ryan! We are frustrated. _This isn't going like we'd planned_. What happened to the further descriptions of his muscular torso, or the hardness of his lithe legs, or the bulging muscles of his powerful thighs? Hello, we didn't look this up on the internet for nothing! Tempers are flaring but luckily, frustration brings a barrage of ideas. _Hit them with a stray plank of wood_. Target's been hit but they are still stuck like glue. Rain, mixed with hail sounds good too but that only makes him put his hand on her face to protect it from the hard pelts.  
  
A bible, someone suggests. Why? To remind him he's holding on to best friend's girlfriend, but the book is so wet by the time it reaches them, it might as well have been a collector's edition of Hustler. Just when we think things can't get any worse, the protective hand on her face becomes a sensuous one, caressing the edges of her cheek and slowly inching to the side of her mouth.  
  
The rustling of feet on grass startles them apart and Marissa re-emerges.  
  
"What are you doing?" she yells. "We've been waiting for you! Come on," she gestures, then walks back.  
  
And thus concludes our little exercise because, without as much as a glance at Summer, Ryan walks out of the lake and back to the car.


End file.
